Thursday, August 29, 2013

Traffic fun

My husband came home the other day complaining about traffic on the way to work aggravated by an accident, and I just couldn’t resist a little sarcasm to help blow off some steam.

“Yeah traffic is bad here I can see that, and we’ve been sitting in line here for awhile, so I can see why you might be in a hurry. Go ahead, jump into the empty lanes that are closed up ahead. Yeah, I know, you are so much more important than the rest of us, you’re the only one late for work, I’m sure they’ll understand that at the end there and let you in front of them.”

“Oh, so sorry, am I in your way? You want to get over? Yeah, I see your lane is closed now, really inconvenient huh? The thing is, there was a sign 200 feet back, you see it there? You see how it says ‘Left lanes closed ahead’? Did you not notice? Oh, I can see how that might be hard. And it’s so hard to see the big sign with the lights pointing to the right. And the 4 other signs posted for the previous 2 miles warning you that the lane was going to be closed. But I can see how why you didn’t figure it out until you got to the cones closing the lane. But I don’t think I’m letting you in. Better luck next time.”

“Oh wow, sorry, am I going the speed limit? Sorry if that’s too slow for you, I know you are in a hurry. And getting up really close on my tail like that is a good way to let me know that. But you do realize this is a school zone, right?”

“Oh, that’s a really nice car you are driving. I can see you like to drive fast, I probably would too if I had a car like that. Oh, oops, gotta be careful there. Cutting off that semi probably wasn’t the best idea, lucky there was room to get out of the way.”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know you wanted to turn there. But next time you could let me know, there is a little stick on your steering wheel the turns on a neat invention called a blinker. Cool, huh?”


Ok, maybe I’m being a little harsh, but it’s all in fun. Better than yelling obscenities and flipping the bird.

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